Sunday, July 7, 2013

Sit, Stand, Bend Over

I'm the father to 4 wonderful children. I have a 7 & a 5 year old (the bigs), and twin 2 year olds (the littles). Yes, it sounds as crazy as you would think! The unpredictability of each and every day is amazing. Each time my wife and I think we have it all planned out something happens that brings all of our momentum crashing down.

And it isn't like we have just one kiddo that we can count on for bringing the drama! Oh no, that would be easy. It is almost as if they talk it out in the middle of the night, and decide which of them is going to be the loon-bucket that day. Or which ones, and how they're going to rotate throughout the day to see at what point my wife and I are going to break and fall into complete insanity!

To top it off, we are potty training the twins. They are doing remarkably great, and we have plenty of victories each day, but when the unpredictable moments can now include smeared poop and screaming, things can get out of hand quick.

I can only relate it to a sketch that comes from the show Whose Line is it Anyway? called "sit, stand, bend over." It sounds worse than it is, but the main idea is for the improv comedians to go through a scene where in each moment one has to be sitting, one standing, and one bending over. And through out the scene they try to throw each other off by switching positions. Here's an example:

I feel this is a perfect representation of what parenting 3 or more children is like. Except it isn't sit, stand, bend over. In fact, you never know what version you could possibly be playing. And that's the best part, you don't get to be a member of the audience! Oh no, you get to be an unwilling participant in the crazy game! Sometimes it is fighting, asking, helping. I'll be fighting trying to get the twins on the potty, while the 5 year old is asking for something to eat, and the 7 year old is helping by sitting in his room. Or maybe you'll find yourself in the "public tantrum, snotty nose, questioning" game! Like today at the store when we were leaving and the 5 year old was screaming off the hook with the 7 year old asking over and over if he behaved well enough to be off restriction and the youngest twin was covered in green, gooey snott. It was awful trying to pay for the 3 items we needed while managing everything. I think I actually at one point wiped his nose with my fingers and scrapped it on an old receipt! Extra points for that one!

I love my days with the kids so much. They definitely keep my wife and I on our toes. And at the end of the day, its always fun to sit back and laugh at just how much drama and chaos we survived, knowing that one day we'll be missing it so much, just as our own parents miss us now. So no. I wouldn't change a thing. As crazy as it can be, and as much snott and crap (literally) we deal with, I couldn't be happier to have such a big and unpredictable family.

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